Friday, September 20, 2013

break up is a bitch

I think everytime we experience a break up, theres alot of choices in which we have to make. Each and every decision we make either makes us stronger, or makes us crumble.

Obviously when you're the one dumping the other person, there should be no problem for you to carry on with your life. But when youre the one getting dumped, the chances are you'll be the one feeling sad and moaning the end of the relationship.

Though I saw this coming, it still hurts.
I've been in 6 relationships and this is the 2nd time I'm being dumped.
The first time happened when I was 15 and it was so long ago I almost forgot how it felt like, but at least I still remembered it was HELL for me. Losing your appetite, boxes of tissues used just to wipe away your tears, and who could forget those sleepless nights.
I was really afraid of having to experience those all over again, I was afraid I'd never get back up again.

If I just followed my heart, I would have wept and cried and BEGGED him not to break up with me. But would it work? Obviously not, I know cause thats exactly what I did back then. What did i get after all the commotion? Him remembering me as the crazy ex who lost all her integrity and begged him not to leave.
I would rather have him remember me as the ex who parted ways with him peacefully and at least, we could still be friends.

When we love someone, we want nothing but the best for them, and this is what gives me the strength to walk away and accept the decision he's made. Thankfully I have really awesome friends who were always there for me, and whenever I felt like crying, they stopped the tears from flowing.

I guess the most crucial part is to never ask why.
Never ask why did he not love me anymore
Never ask why all this happened
Never ask why did he break up with me
Those are the questions that I will never ever get the answer to, and they'll crush you.

Being dumped is a very complicated thing.
You want to be in a relationship again just to fill that void he left,
but at the same time,
You dont want to be in a relationship cause you dont wanna experience another heart break again.

Break up is a bitch.


Michelle said...

ahhh my baby! don't be sad and he is crazy to have dumped you! you are an awesome awesome person. I loveee youuu :)) No matter what you will always have me and your friends and family to support you! Skype soon k! Miss and love youuu

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